This will be my last entry here. If you wnat to continue to follow the hilarious exploits of single Dad and two crazy kids see winter to spring.

Here are a few pictures:

New Year's Eve

Christmas

It is really funny. All my life I have lived and died with the Longhorns. I get nervous on gameday........versus Baylor. I get wierd the day of the game, I can't eat, sleep, etc. But today was really just another day for me. Ever since I won my fantasy football league I have been telling my close friends that I know Texas would win tonight. My second "vice" college football - dori would see to it that I got to see a Texas win tonight. I was never really nervous. When Texas went down by 12 in the 4th I told everyone that all we needed was one stop...and we got that. When it was second down and little time left i told everyone that vince would run it in on 4th down. My friends moaned when the pass on 3rd was incomplete, I smiled because I knew what would happen next.

It is probably dumb to think that I am being rewarded by winning fantasy football and then seeing Texas win. Long ago I resigned myself to the reality that God doesn't care about football, and He doesn't love Texas anymore than USC or anyone else. But I really had this peace that this was my year.

So I will celebrate alone tonight. But I do know that Dori is happy for me. I was really happy 30 minutes ago and going nuts as you would expect. But now I'm alone again and of course I'd trade it all to have my baby back with me. She would probably tell me to go to bed and to be sure the kitchen is cleaned up (which it is). Things are good, I will shortly make the move to the new site and say goodbye to this one. As happy as I am to see Texas win I realize that there are bigger things-more important things. My kids, my faith and my own well being are number one. Things like a national championships are nice but I can live without them.

Congrats to the Horns, congrats to me. Thanks Dori. Wish you were here to smell the roses with me.

We will be going to a friends place for the weekend so I have to say "Happy New Year" a little early. I have to admit I'm glad we are past Christmas and soon will have New Years done. There are lots of positive things going on along with the challenges that come up. Again, my kids are great and I'm so lucky to have them.......but I'm loooking forward to Tait getting back to school and Jaden back in her routine. Being at home is HARD work!

I have to ask a special favor, please pray for a dear friend of ours who is getting so much needed help. It is funny, when I found out my first thought was that I would be on my own for a while as Dori focused her energy there for a while. It was also a moment where I wish whe was hear so I could share in her happiness.

Life is going on, I will be transitioning to a new "outlet" for my thoughts in January. This place will always remain and I hope to (with the help of a real angel) update some of the China trip info and other things. Life is going on, God continues to be good to me. Winter is losing its gripi on south Texas (it will be about 80 this weekend) and spring is coming. So to is the veil of saddness lifting on all of us and we are looking to renewal and growth. We do embrace the past and cherish our memories, but we will be making new ones. That is what Dori would want.

Cheers! Happy New Year!

que the cheesy song from Queen...I am the champion, I am the champion...of the world. Well, at least the fantasy football world. I have been playing in a fairly high stakes (for me at least) FF league for the last 4 years. I took over one of the worst teams in this league and last year finally made the playoffs. This year I won the darn thing. It is kind of ironic that this would be my year. Dori never loved fantasy football, but she tolerated it because she knew I enjoyed the diversion. My favorite part of the league is always the draft. I would spend hours preparing and then I'd be "unavailable" the day of the draft and Dori would have the kids for that day-or most of it. Once the season starts I'm not quite as obsessed as most. I don't really watch many games on Sunday, I do sometimes watch the Monday night game with friends who live nearby. But that is really about it. So I'm pretty excited that I won, but honestly this year I had minimal involement and interest. Maybe that kept me from over analyzing and over preparing. Anyway, I guess Dori be proud. I will have a big trophy to display as evidence of my mastery of my fellow football nerds.

and the Johnsons were up too late and complaining, crying, arguing the existance of Santa, etc. etc. (Memo to self: be sure Jaden is asleep by 8:30) The day went pretty good, Tait had an episode when we got ready to go to church-other than that it was great. Everyone is in bed now and we are ready for a big day tomorrow. i just love these two kids! My favorite part of Christmas is watching them Christmas morning..its going to be great.

I finally watched the end of "Its a Wonderful Life" this morning and I can say that after years of watching the movie I did notice something new this year. It is Mary-George Bailey's wife. Mary is the unsung hero that I have missed all these years while focused on George. George is a wonderful character and I do love him, but Mary is awesome. She has hope and dreams herself and while they don't involve the big ideas of her husband, they are real and noble too. She is the rock that keeps her family together and the one that steps up to save the day when George starts to unravel. She is just a loving wife and mother who will do anything to keep her family together and happy. That she has slipped past me undetected for so many years is no big surprise really. How many of us have great mothers that we take for granted? Mothers who do all the hard work to make a family go, and yet never get (nor seek) the recognition they deserve? My own Mom has done that for years. Year after year she puts up with her own George Bailey and her family of 4 boys and their wives and kids. I guess its time to acknowledge Mom and all she does. Love you Mom.

Merry Christmas! Thanks God, for everything.

Tonight will celebrated the day that Dori and I got to meet Jaden for the first time. It was Dec 22, 2002 in Lanzhou China. I will never forget that day, Tait's birth, or my wedding day for as long as I live. It was really cold and we had already had an airplane ride and very cold bus ride that day. So, late that afternoon, after checking in the hotel we got word that the babies were in the lobby. So we went down and meet this baby that we had thought so much about for the 18 months prior. And she was beautiful - and cried her little lungs out for much of that first night! It took a few days, but once Jacen finally accepted us and gave us her love, she gave it all to us and never looked back.

It has been a good week. Monday I had a great date, Tuesday was a Christmas party for church staff and board, last night I got some shopping and wrapping done. I do miss Dori and wich she was here, but life is going on. My kids really help to remind me of two things: First is how wonderful their Mom was and second is that life continues to roll along and they need me. They need me happy and healthy and ready to love and care for them.

As I read the cards and Christmas letters from people it is always with a mixture of feelings. On the one hand there is a joy that these familes are so happy and joyous, on the other hand it reminds me of the tough time we've been through and it can hurt to reflect on that. I guess it is hard to share the joy when it's hard to feel real good myself. But it is getting better. It is going to be really nice to be with the kids these next few days just laugh and watch their excitement grom with each new gift they get.

Well, let the games begin! Yesterday I went to Tait's party at school and had a great time. Tonight we go to (my) Grandma's house and then I have a party tomorrow night and more through the week. I got to run my route yesterday morning and shaved another 30 seconds off my time-it is now time to lengthen my run from just over 1 mile to somewhere around 2. The sclae this morning said 186, I was really surprised, I need to get a new scale and be consistent about when I wiegh in-but still I feel good. But I still have the 'ol beer gut for now. It is long way to six-pack-abs and I'm not sure you get there by avoiding coke and coffee and running 2-4 times a week!

I heard that old Neil Diamond song on the radio yesterday...
Money talks,
but it don't sing and dance and it don't walk
And as long as I can have you here with me
I'd much rather be
Forever in blue jeans.....

How true. How many times in the past 8 years have I said, man if I could only "find" another 5k life would be so good! Well, while it does help..in the end "it don't sing and dance and it don't walk", it don't hold you or tell you how great you are or how much you're loved.

Tait and I went to check out the Children's Bereavement Center today and he whined the whole way down there, "this is going to be dumb" "i'm going to hate it", blah blah blah

When we left he was upset that we can't go back until classes start in January. I think it will be good for all of us.

I'm feeling really good. I only had one 'moment' today when I got a card from the good people in the oncology wing of the NE Methodist Hospital. Dori had several extended stays there the last 2-3 years. She hated to go and there were times she was sick but she would beg me not to call the doc because she knew he would put her in the hospital (I usually called anyway). But once she was there she loved those people. And I mean everyone, from the nurses down to the lady who brought in the food trays. In typical Dori style she didn't care what you did for her, she loved you and treated you with respect and you could tell that from the card. It just reminds me of what a great person she was and (sadly) how rare that is too find in the world. But I think Dori has changed a lot of people and how we look at things and the world is better because of that.

I spent all night getting Christmas cards and thank-yous done. I could almost feel Dori looking over my shoulder as I put on the stamps...and I could almost hear her saying "you know this should have been doone weeks ago!" And she would be right. But hey, some things never change.