Saturday morning and I can't Saturday morning and I can't seem to sleep. Already laid in bed a long time trying to will myself back to dreamland but only listened to my husband, son, (who usually joins us half way through the night) shih-tzu and two cats softly snoring. Finally gave up. I was not feeling well last night. The "after chemo" nasuea and heartburn set in early this time. It usually does not hit until Saturday or Sunday. My nails are really killing me today, I probably should not have unloaded that half yard of dirt yesterday afternoon. Just really want to have the flowerbed ready by Race for the Cure weekend. JE can't do it all by himself. Well, I am thankful for another weekend to spend with my family doing what we want. Should probably go soak my fingertips in icewater to dull the pain, then off to the doctor's office for my daily shot. i wish everyone out there a great day.
posted by Dori at 06:52 AM | bookmark this | (34)
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Wednesday, March 20, 2002
a happier day Like I thought, today was a much better day. I spoke at our church tonight about the joys of faith through adversity. Recalling all the blessings I have been given makes me remember why I keep fighting this and praying for a cure. There is hope, and there is an answer somewhere out there. Hopefully the Europeans are going to be willing to share their findings!!! Peace to all.
posted by Dori at 09:26 PM | bookmark this | (32)
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Anyone been to/live in China? We will be in China sometime in Oct. or Nov. (hopefully) when we travel to adopt Jaden. We will be in Bejing for at least three days and then we will spend several days in a smaller city where her orphange is located. On the way out of China we spend a few days in Guangzhou. I would guess one can find internet access in Bejing and maybe even Guangzhou, but really I have no idea. Has anyone been recently and been able to access the web? I fully intend to blog from China if it is at all possible.
posted by Dori at 04:35 PM | bookmark this | (47)
Tuesday, March 19, 2002
There is a stranger in my mirror. We just got a short but good rain here in San Antonio. I love to hear the sounds of the storm. Though the rain has stopped I can still hear thunder in the distance and drops of water dripping from the roof to the ground. Everything seems clean and clear after a rain. I wish I felt that way inside. I looked in the mirror yesterday and was unsure who was looking back at me. Someone with swollen eyes surrounded by a new red rash. My lips are dry, peeling and burning as much as my eyes. I long for the taste and touch of my favorite foods on my tounge but I fear I have lost the nerve endings on the center part. It is getting more difficult to go to work as something hurts with every movement. It is hard to focus on the needs of my student when all my energy is used to deal with these side effects. My feet, my hands, my eyes, my lips all remind me of the effects of the poison in my body. I live on the verge of nausea. Now my arm is swelling around my left elbow. Could be adema or possibly a blood clot. Will get a CBC on Wednesday to see how my counts look. I have also been running a low grade temperature for three days now. This signals some type of infection somewhere.
I know this is not uplifting to read but we wanted a real account of a person going through chemotherapy and it is just one of those bad days. Tomorrow will have to be better. Anybody out there know of alternative methods to keep my body strong so i can better fight this?? i am open for suggestions.
My thoughts and prayers go out to my husbands Aunt Suzanne who underwent major surgury in Austin today. We got word she is doing well. She is on the road to recovery after an unpleasant find. Take care.
posted by Dori at 09:32 PM | bookmark this | (20)
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Jaden Erica Johnson In case you missed it, we have decided on a name for our baby girl! Jaden is a Hebrew name that means "God has heard" (that fits very well we think). Her middle name, Erica, honors JE's father (Eric). Baby names can be tough, but we feel real good about this one! Thanks to Kristen from church for the inspiration.
posted by Dori at 09:06 AM | bookmark this | (22)
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Sunday, March 17, 2002
Just Cruising Along Saturday I woke up very tired, so tired that I almost missed my Nuepogen shot. Most of the day I was on the coach going in and out of my son's cartoons. Today was better. We went to church and then to a campaign brunch with family to celebrate birthdays. The brunch was pretty to look at. I think it was good too, but you'd probably have to ask someone who can taste to be sure. I worked out the yard again today and made tortilla soup for supper. Tait's grandma came by and dropped off a stuffed dinosaur that she had made. I just live for those moments when I see my family smile.
posted by Dori at 08:53 PM | bookmark this | (21)
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Back to School Back to work in the morning. It has been a relaxing spring break. It's been nice not to rush around in the mornings and push myself though the ills of the day. My fingernails and toenails are only getting worse, more painful too. I feel like putting little alarms around my feet so my son will remember not to step on them! No shoes are comfortable. I don't think they will let me wear my furry leopard slippers to work! Wonder what I will do before long. No toenails, no fingernails and my eyes and nose running like a faucet. What a vision of beauty I am!! Race for the Cure on the 13th could be interesting. It is the first year, in four, that i have not run the three miles and now i am wondering if i will even be able to walk it.
Things could always be worse. My mother-in-law lost a good friend to lung cancer today. She had really only known about her illness since December so she had a very short time to fight her disease. I know that Mary will be greatly missed by her friends and family. From what I understand she had not been herself since the diagnosis so she it should bring peace to those that loved her to know that she is no longer suffering.
posted by Dori at 08:38 PM | bookmark this | (4)
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