Every year since 1990 I have watched the Christmas classic “It’s a Wonderful Life”. I’ll never forget the first time I took the time to watch it. I was in college and it was on of those mornings that you don’t really want to get out of bed but you can’t sleep any longer so you have to watch TV. That movie was on and I had heard it was pretty good so I watched it. And now, every Christmas I watch it again. Dori thought it was kind of silly that I watch that thing over and over and I cry on que at several points in the movie. I had always tried to pinpoint what it is about the movie that I love so much and I think I finally have an answer.
George Bailey is constantly trying to get out of his home town of Bedford Falls. Several times he puts his own ambitions and dreams on hold to help out someone else. Watching the movie you start to really connect with George and his growing sense of discontent as his penchant for helping others starts to become a real burden for him personally. You start to think, “come on George, you deserve to be little selfish! Take the job with Potter!” but in the end George always does the right thing, even if it is a real struggle at times. We all face similar challenges in life. Maybe it would be easier to be selfish and comprise our principles at times. That is what is so admirable about the life of George Bailey and “real” people like him. We can identify with the feelings George has and can sympathize with his sense of despair and hopelessness. Haven’t we all felt that way at some point?
But the most amazing thing about the movie and something that I have begun to experience some in the past few weeks, is the outpouring of love and support that George gets when he needs it the most. It comes from unexpected places, from friends that you would have thought had long ago forgotten about George. George had spent all his life doing for others, so when it came time for them to do for him-they did it in a big way. In an overwhelming way. I am no George Bailey, I have not always sacrificed or done the right thing. What I have tried to do is to love the people I come in contact with and to trust God to help me when I need it. I have seen a love for me in places I didn’t know existed, from people I would have never thought would even remember me, let alone feel compelled to show me they care for me. In these days I think I really know how George must feel at the end of the movie when his friends and family pack his house and they sing “Auld Lang Syne” together.
I’m not sure when I will get the chance to watch my movie this year, but I can’t wait.
[Update: as I finished this I had a notice from Netfilx that my Wonderful Life DVD shipped today-I have the VHS version but wanted to try the DVD this year-maybe I'll watch it this weekend]
Haul out the holly;
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again.
Fill up the stocking,
I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now.
For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute,
Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet.
Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute.
It hasn't snowed a single flurry,
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry;
So climb down the chimney;
Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen.
Slice up the fruitcake;
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough.
For I've grown a little leaner,
Grown a little colder,
Grown a little sadder,
Grown a little older,
And I need a little angel
Sitting on my shoulder,
Need a little Christmas now.
Heard that song today, thought it summed things up pretty good. I was able to get us an appointment with the Children's Bereavement Center next Wed. The kids would start in January. Tait already says he doesn't want to go but promised to give it a chance. I've applied for all the benefits I can, I'm just waiting on the state to get me some paperwork and then I will be done with all that stuff.
Yesterday night I ran about 13 min. I think it was about 1.3 miles, a good start. I'd probably run faster if I didn't cry so much ;) Anyway, I took today off because my thighs and shins killed me all day long! I'll hit the eliptical tomorrow.
The other day I had the opportunity to have a good talk with an old friend of Dori's. She told me that after all that Dori had been through and after going to her memorial service she was starting to rethink Christianity and church and was actually seeking to find a church and bible study. That was one of the best things I have heard in a long time.
The other good news was that I weighed in at 194 today (after flirting with 200 for weeks) and I did 21 minutes on the eliptical tonight. I had always joked to Dori that even though she had gone from 160 to 100 lbs, our total weight as a couple had stayed constant the whole time! In all fariness to Dori, when she met me I was about 138 and training for the SA Marathon. I used to joke with her that she should have sued me for false advertizing because she thought she was marrying a toned fitness buff-when in reality she got a pudgy coach potato.
My goal for the next year is to run the Race for the Cure in under 25 minutes, drop 25 lbs, and be the best Dad I can be. Of course the last one is the biggie, but the first two will help be to be a good Dad for years to come.
